"Do you want it or do you need it?"

As a kid, every time I asked for something, my mother would always pause and ask, "Do you want it or do you need it?" Little innocent Sukhda never imagined that this simple question was actually my first lesson in understanding the concept of desire. Back then, I didn’t fully grasp what she meant—but the question lingered.

As I grew older, this question turned into a profound confusion. I began to ask myself: What exactly is a want, and what is a need? Because, if I looked at my life practically, I had everything I needed—a loving family, good friends, a solid education, a square meal every day, and a comfortable shelter over my head. So, what more could I possibly need? And more importantly, is it wrong to want something more? With time and a bit of introspection, I realized—Aai never said it was wrong to want something. She only asked me to reflect. And that, I believe, was the real wisdom in her words.

Desire is not inherently bad. In fact, it’s the fundamental driving force of human existence. It fuels everything—from procreation to personal aspirations. It shapes our experiences, our emotions, and our pursuit of joy and fulfillment.

So what’s the issue with "I want to..." or "I want..."? Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with desire itself. The problem arises when we start tying our peace and contentment to it. When the fulfillment of a desire becomes the condition for our happiness, we set ourselves up for emotional turbulence. They can trigger anger, jealousy, restlessness, and sadness, especially when we cling to them or define our worth by them.

The key, I’ve come to understand, is not to suppress desires, but to see them as energy. Use them, honor them, but don’t become attached to them. Reflecting on past experiences can help identify what truly brings us joy. And joy doesn’t always need to be earned—it often just needs to be noticed.

As Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says,

“Clarity in mind, purity in heart, and sincerity in action—these are the three golden rules to achieving happiness and contentment.”

And honestly, these words have never felt more relevant.

PS:

I’ve been meaning to write another blog ever since exams wrapped up, but for some reason, I kept procrastinating. Today, after completing Day 1 of the Happiness Program by the Art of Living, I finally sat down and wrote this.

I won’t share the details of the program here—because I want each of you reading this to experience it for yourself. It’s something truly transformative. And if it sounds like I’m advertising it... well, I’m happy to "advertise" a blissful experience that helped me overcome my own inertia. 

Explore upcoming programs - https://www.artofliving.org/in-en/happiness-program